#17 Sushi

New thing for 2014...#17... As described in an email to friends....

12:20pm - I stare down at the sushimi on my plate and wonder what the hell i was thinking.   ordered me a bento box with more normal things in it...but his stuff arrived first and he insisted that I taste it.  THERE IS A PIECE OF RAW SALMON STARING AT ME.    Its RAW.  As in, NOT COOKED.  I feel bile rising in my throat.  Seriously?  Why in the HELL would people EAT this?  I don't get it.  Why did I agree to this?  Turning slightly I eyeball the door.  Is it too late to run?  I buy time by snapping a photo of it and sending a picture to husband who replies "good luck".  Bastard.  I decide that NOW would be a wise time to open my chopsticks and learn how to use them.  Another couple of minutes get wasted as I watch ninja chopstick skills and try to mimic them.  I hope I can drop the salmon on the floor when he's distracted. Sigh.  No such luck. I try to pick up the piece of salmon with my chopsticks and fail miserably.   advises me to just stab the damn thing.  I stab it viciously trying to kill it.  Its so raw, I'm pretty sure I saw it crawl across my plate a few seconds ago.  Impaled on my chopsticks, I hear the salmon say "save me!" and I drop it into my soy sauce to let it marinate.  I make random conversation, innerly rolling my eyes at the rising edge of panic to my voice.  I am not even making sense  damn it!!!  What am i even talking about?  ARG!!  I sigh loudly - most likely interrupting story at the time - but I can't think of anything but this gross looking meat and wondering if I'm going to throw up.  It's time.  I ask if I should chew it or just gulp it down and am advised to chew it.  Ok.  I scoop it up and toss it in.  Chew.  Chew. Chew. Swallow. Didn't throw it back up into lap.  Score!  Didn't even gag. Winner!   I wait for the cheering crowd to applaud, the angels to sing and my award to be brought out.  Sigh.  Clearly no one appreciates what I just did here. 

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